TC 2000

TC 2000

In the future, after the rich people have totally polluted and destroyed the planet, and they went and built themselves underground cities. The poor live on the surface in the filth they left behind. Billy Blanks and his partner are "T.C.2000" Tracker-Communicators who are implanted with microchips, basically fascist cops who work for the 'Underground,' the rich people who live beneath the surface. Poor people try to break in to their base to steal food, and Billy Blanks and his partner kick their ass with kung fu. In the future all the poor people know kung fu, and the cops don't carry guns, they proceed to kick everybody in the head and then taser them. Some of the surface people use the dead bodies of the cops to get through automated security gates. A surface world thug named Picasso has ruled the surface world with his band of evil gang members, and has made a secret deal with the 'Underground' to set up Billy Blanks' partner to be a victim so that the Underground scientists can create the perfect obedient fascist cyborg cop. The TC-2000-X. Billy Blanks uncovers half the plot and wants out, they accuse him of treason and he runs to the surface. His partner is turned into an S&M clad dominatrix, and is programmed to infiltrate Picasso and the surface world gang.

I never thought wardrobe could ruin a movie, but it seems that every costume that every character wears is ridiculous. I don't know why these people thought cyborgs should dress in black leather S&M gear with studs and spikes, (Somebody must have raided CYBER C.H.I.C.'s wardrobe!) but it isn't the only ridiculous thing about this movie. The acting is bad, and so is Billy Blanks' hairdo...I've never seen anything so bizarre. The plot keeps stalling every time Billy Blanks and his film crew want to show off their martial arts, they seem to have no idea how to integrate this into the plot, so they stage all these ridiculous fight scenes by not having the cops pull their tasers, nobody has any guns, and all the poor people know martial arts. For instance they have one guy fight in a contest to win a bag of clean water, 'the most valuable substance' and then later while he's practicing his martial arts he punches a giant watermelon to bits...where did they get a watermelon? Why did they waste it for nothing, just so he could practice his martial arts? Also, poor people have really good lighting out there, and nice apartments hidden away inside shitty decayed buildings.

I made it through the initial poorly executed set-up for the 'science fiction' plot with all the bad acting, bad hairdos, bad costumes, and bad special effects....the cops are wear welding helmets for god's sakes... but the 'plot' just breaks down with too many martial arts fight scenes which actually slow things down and confuse things. The fascist rich people engage in conspiracies and blackmail, and argue about who is in control of TC-2000-X, and they end up arguing and killing their president...all over who controls this cyborg-chick...really? Ultimately none of the bad guys on either side, the Picasso gang or the Future cops have any real good motivations for anything they do, and I simply lost track or didn't care about what was happening because 'TC2000-X' who had the only real character development or importance to the plot doesn't really do much. More people fight eachother over bullshit reasons, and finally the conspiracy of the Future cops and Picasso come to a head when we find out that TC2000-X's hand is the only thing that can open a door which turns on a giant power station. (Obvious question, they schemed to kill her, to turn her into a cyborg, so she could infiltrate the Picasso gang, so the Future cops could go to the power station and turn it on? Why not just cut off her dead hand and bring it there? Or drug her and take her there? The people at the beginning used the dead bodies of cops to get through security gates.) More martial arts fight scenes ensue and guys take off their shirts and fight, etc. Okay, the plot sucks, and every scene takes place in a boiler room. I guess because it's a lot of people fighting over nothing that is the problem, if I don't care about these people, why should I care if they kill eachother? The fight scenes aren't even that good. Unfortunately, there isn't even anything campy about any of this, and there is no attempt at humor. It seems as though the producers were completely unaware of whatever it was they were doing. The script must have been written in a day, and no thought was put into much of this movie, except perhaps how they were going to film the fight scenes. This is one of the reasons that studio executives should allow writers and directors to go crazy, because sometimes they come up with off the wall stuff that makes it all worth it, even if they're not willing to give the movie a budget, even if they hire bad actors and the movie is full of cliches... all it takes is for some zany stuff to happen and you have yourself something worth watching, and really that is what this movie is severely lacking. How could these people have taken this movie this seriously? Were they not dressed up like idiots? Did they not realize they filmed the entire movie in a boiler room? Were they not aware of how many bad actors they hired? Somebody at some point should have said, "We're never going to get away with this, we should try to do some goofy stuff with this, otherwise nobody's going to watch this crap." Added humor could have saved this pile of nonsense. The only interesting thing in this movie (which has probably been done before in other martial arts movies) is this guy who can punch through walls with his 'chi' without destroying the wall, and I guess the vibrations goes through the other side and hits the other person on the other side of the wall. Even the bimbo who plays TC-2000-X is underused in any capacity, and if you have a bad movie, a low budget, no story, and you have a bimbo and you don't showcase the bimbo, what do you have? A boring movie that can't even be marketed as schlock. This movie is so pretentious it makes EXPECT NO MERCY look like a masterpiece. Currently only available on VHS.